English.

Hey dad,
Can you just stop talking about me?
Just MUTE !

It's a Sunday night,
And I don't even want to spoil my not-so-bad-mood until my birthday.
I keep avoiding to think about the open day.
I know it definitely will let the mood gone.
But, hey !
Now you are the reason why make me so down right now !
Chit-chatting with mom, talking about me with such a loud voice.
Let me hear it purposely.


I don't ever hear a good compliment of mine from you.
Yeah I'm already get used of it.
Maybe it's a miracle for you to say the good words of me.


Quite frustrating.
What's the topic of me this time?
"English".
Yeah I personally think that my English not that bad, but yeah, not that good also.
But I do improve a lot this few days.
I do really try to read English books, watch American movies and dramas, listen how do they speak English so fluently, read the English subtitles and try to understand it, reading others' blogs, read magazines, even sings Taylor Swift's songs (Her songs are much of difficulty to sing.).
And now, using English to blog.
After the school has organised the mini education fair,
I realised that English is important.
For jobs.
Interviews.
Communication.

So I started to focus in English.
Especially in writing and listening.
But I think I failed in speaking.
I tried to speak before.
Gosh, it's really really weird.
Every time when my dad asked me something,
My brain suddenly blank.
Not that "Yes" "No" I also don't know how to answer.
Just I felt the pressure.
I'm scared.
After that those broken English came out.
"Lah" "Loh" "Meh"
I hate these Malaysian-English actually.
But I got influenced.

Whenever I chat with my friends in msn,
These "Lah" things will appear.
It's so natural for me.
I can't even control.

And this class, not even more than 5 people speak English the whole day.
We do speak English during Pn. Yap's period.
But some still speak Chinese secretly, right?
Including me, though.


Upset.
I think my dad gotta start asking my sis and bro to speak English with me for sure.
He asked few times before.
Okay, it was quite successful in the beginning.
But after couple of days, failed.
Cause we just spoke English in front of him.


Someone said that,
"It'll become a routine if you do it about 22 days non-stop."
Wow, 22 days.
It's damn long, man.


Another target now.
Force myself to speak in English and read more English.



It's quite a long post, huh?
Thanks those who really read my blog completely.
It means that you concern me. =)
This blog is where I have the chance to release my stress and share my real feelings to you all.


=)